Consevatives, evolution, politics, racism, religious right

I Guess He Does Answer Prayers, After All…

So, I read the news a few minutes ago that Jerry Falwell has died. Back in the day (long, long ago, believe me) when I did pray, and I hoped that someone would kack the self-important, bigoted, misogynist, bible pimp soon, I guess I was heard after all. It took a while, but if there is a heaven, it’s probably the ultimate bureaucracy.

I honestly tried (for nearly a tenth of a second) to have some sympathy, some understanding and some compassion for a man who worked hard for what he believed. I wanted to be a better person, until I realized that even if I called him every name I could think of (see partial list above), I would still be a better human being than him. If anyone is responsible for creating the atmosphere of fear, suspicion and intolerance that rules over the American people, it was Falwell. I consider myself a liberal, and I’m pretty tolerant of others. That being said, Nobody can deny that Falwell would have hated me with every fibre of his being and would have wished – for no other reason than I fundamentally disagreed with him – that I would undergo a literal eternity of suffering and torment, burned by flames, pieces carved from my flesh, all imaginable horrors visited upon me and those like me, without hope or chance of redemption or salvation. Just because I chose to question what he believed and not change what I believed.

Let me be the first to say: Right back at’cha. Burn in your fundamentalist hell, you sanctimonious bastard.

Have a nice day.


8 thoughts on “I Guess He Does Answer Prayers, After All…

  1. I wonder which level of Hell would Dante have reserved for televangelists? Would it be hotter than the areas kept for murderers and rapists, or about the same?


  2. It’s been a long, long time since I read Dante, but I do believe there was indeed a section for hypocrites.

    That said, may he be forever known as the guy that blamed 911 on gays. Rest in pieces, fucker.


  3. boys, boys, boys:

    Is this any way to remember Jerry Falwell? Rather we should be asking ourselves how we can exploit this for our own personal profit – it’s what Jerry would have done….


  4. Sounds like a great idea, Dan! I propose to build a 20 million dollar statue in his honour. Please send non-refundable donations to me and I will work diligently until the day I die to find someone somewhere on this earth who will do this project justice. I may have to search in places like Hawaii, New Zealand, Italy, the Carribean Islands…Perhaps at one of the local pubs in Halifax to find other enthusiasts who will help me, as I cannot do this alone. A well paid team of clear thinkers. I think you get the idea. So help me out so I can start this dream!


  5. Paul, I think you should expand the list of sites to places we would normally be unable to go. An expedition into the Himalayas, for where else should Falwell’s effigy statue stand but the top of the world? Perhaps a journey to Antarctica, where no pigeon exists what could crap on the anointed one’s head. A fence could be erected to keep the pigeons from pooping on his toes. Such expeditions are expensive, but I’m sure Jerry’s flock would have no problem ponying up the dough for such a cause.


  6. Me want edit above post. The second “pigeons” should read “penguins”, and the word effigy should look like this: effigy



  7. So noted, however, the locations listed were for “business” meetings. The sites, that I was thinking for this statue(tte) would be in places such as the Marianas Trench (close to Japan which is another great site for a “business” meeting) where he and his effigy may enjoy being subducted in to the “Hell” they both deserve.
    Hmmm… I smell good cost overruns … where is that platinum plated collection plate gone?


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