christians, religion

Where religions come from…

or What’s New in Christian Idolatry?


If anyone has any doubt about where God/Thor/Allah come from, look no further than your own imagination. This poor, recently unemployed fellow has discovered a rock wall in his back yard has magically transmorgrified itself into the Hand of God, the rights to which are currently going for $1,211.11 on Ebay. Note, you don’t get to dig it out and take it with you, you just get the “rights” to it for that after-school special that you’ve been aching to make about a wall with “hand” with five fingers and a at least two more half-“fingers”.

I can’t wait until the Virgin Mary appears in a stain on the side of my coffee-maker so I can make some this morning. Mondays are always hard.


9 thoughts on “Where religions come from…

  1. OOO, OOO, OOO, The Intelligent Design fans were right! And it WAS aliens who kicked off life on this earth!! Who elso would have seven fingered hands with TWO opposable thumbs?


  2. I’m looking at my hands as I type this and I’m not seeing any half fingers.Either this whole “In His Image” stuff is a complete crock or god stiffed me on that deal. Where’s the Vatican’s complaint department?. Oh, and Kev, if you can’t wait to have the virgin mary’s image appear on something do I ever have a surprise for you.Soon her image will appear at your command every morning at breakfast. Or, I suppose, just if you feel the need for a quick snack.


  3. James Doohan lost half of one of his fingers at Juno Beach on D-Day. Does that mean Scotty is god?

    It would explain a lot, really, “Sorry I canna cure yer cancer – I dooon’t have the pooowerr!”


  4. I don’t think he has the requisite second opposable thumb, Flash. Think of the grip he could get on his phaser and dilithium crystals, if he did though! No problems with power then. ;o)


  5. If I am not mistaken, it looks alot like the Devil’s Post Pile formation we saw on our geology field trip to California (Best university credit I ever got!). Does this mean god is the devil? or is that vice versa? The religious nuts can figure that one out if they feel so inclined.
    On a side note: According to geneticists having 6 fingers (5 fingers + a thumb) is a genetically dominant trait. Go figure!


  6. It does look similar, but it’s a little hard to tell from the pictures I’ve seen whether it’s actually hexagonal jointing. If 6 digits was dominant, would that not mean it would be preferentially selected genetically and it should be really common? I mean, over all 6500 years of human history, wouldn’t there be enough time to make us all six-fingered?

    I may be uttering nonsense here, I don’t know much about genetics.


  7. From the pic it does look like columnar basalt, but it could also be layered sandstone tilted on it’s side. I need to visit Idaho to tell for sure. Anyone want to sponsor a trip? I promise to bring my sledgehammer and transmogrify this “hand” into a worthless pile of shapeless rock, for what it’s worth.


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