entertainment

So… Is This Now a Documentary?

As much as I hate to do this, the joke is probably worth it…

R.I.P. Michael Jackson.

You fucking creepy, undead-looking, child molesting, hyperbaric-chamber-sleeping, chimp fondling, fiery-scalped pedophile, you.

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10 thoughts on “So… Is This Now a Documentary?

  1. The sad thing is we will have to hear about this for an excrutiatingly long time. K-Tel, and other marketers of dead memorabilia will flood our multiple medias to help us remember the abomination.

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  2. It’s already started, Paul – the iTunes site has Michael front and centre.

    Maybe it’s foolish of me, but I actually do feel some pity for Michael – from all accounts he grew up an abused child – not physically abused, maybe, but his father did seem to view him as a money-maker first, and a human being second and I don’t think there was a lot of positive reinforcement in his life, just an endless parade of sycophants and yes-men.

    Or maybe it’s as simple as the fact that Michael, along with Farrah Fawcett who also passed away today, represented indelible icons of my younger years. Although I will say I feel more sympathy for Farrah – first of all because from what I’ve seen over the past few years, she approached her impending death with grace, and secondly because of all the ugly ways to die, I’m thinking Anal Cancer is right up there on the list….

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  3. You know, in light of the death from abuse of prescription drugs theory that’s now coming out I have to ask, is Keith Richards secretly a zombie or is he secretly superman?

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  4. I keep hearing people wax poetic about this guy but I keep remembering him in court and on TV exposes about being a creepy diddler.

    Sorry, but a few good tunes doesn’t change the fact that this guys would have died years ago from being shivved in prison if he weren’t famous.

    Sorry, I won’t celebrate this guys life, nor his death. Its been 16 hours and I’m already sick of hearing about him.

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  5. As usual, Mike, you excel at cutting to the proverbial chase.:)
    This is just one (only the current) representation of what’s wrong with celebrity culture. I agree with Dan – I feel worse for Farrah, who suffered bravely (by all accounts, it must be noted) through a painful and debilitating illness, and did so with apparent grace. Jacko’s later years were entirely consumed by the same repetitive behavior:

    1. Do something illegal/disgusting/incredibly stupid
    2. Get caught
    3. Go into hiding
    4. Blame press for hounding him, like it’s their fault
    5. Go to Step 1

    Yes, yes, talented musician, dancer, whatever; he still does not deserve the worldwide show of grief. No celebrity does, no matter how well they do their jobs. Ultimately, that’s what they are: jobs.

    I am annoyed in particular at the people who say he was like ‘a part of my family’. you must have some seriously fucked-up family to dream about adding Mikey to it.

    Much longer, more annoyed post to come.

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  6. Doug: Richards is the best argument against healthy living that has ever existed. I think he’s a Highlander or something.

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  7. Great post. Just a few days ago I opened the online Globe & Mail only to see a big article right near the top of the home page about the death of the Clearinghouse Sweepstakes guy. Then this morning I woke up to the CBC interviewing someone with the intro, “Our next guest knew Michael Jackson well. He worked with someone who worked with Michael…” and then I was subjected to second-hard stories about “MJ”.. subjected, that is, until I got to the radio and stabbed the “off” button. It’s a really good time to go camping.

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  8. Sit tibi terra levis, Michael! Let’s forgive and forget him! Over 150,000 people die every day. He’s merely one of them. But also over 350,000 are born every day, that means every day we have other 3 new Michael Jacksons!…

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