Can I Have a Transfer?

Set Phasers… On AWESOME!

William Shatner wants to become Prime Minister of Canada? Why did I not hear about this? Can you imagine Captain Kirk at the helm of the U.S.S. Canadaprise? Going off on foreign junkets to alien lands, screwing half of them, punching out the other half (his choice, of course – he’s the Captain!), boldly going where no blah, blah, blah?

Note that his ego has its’ own weather system

Or T.J. Hooker rolling across the front of the official limo, and firing off a few shots at criminals?

Or… Well, that’s pretty much it, unless you want to ruin tonight’s sleep by imagining “O Canada” as performed by Le Shat. A hockey game would be into overtime before the final “we… standonguard… for… thee!” was uttered into the icy air.

Say it ain’t so!

I’m pretty sure that being convinced of your own historic awesomeness is a prerequisite for the job of PM (witness the incumbent), but maybe a little more actual legislative experience and a little less All-Bran would be desired (insert poop joke here). Of course, if, as I do, you consider our country to be perilously close to descending into self-parody, then Shatner is the perfect choice.

Look Out! He’s Got Office Supplies!

Does anyone else find the taser-happy Constable Millington’s testimony at the inquiry into the death of Robert Dziekanski a little odd?

Note to the Constable:  you are a trained police officer. it is your job, and a vital job at that, to place yourself in harms’ way to protect the citizenry. In order to perform this sometimes dangerous task effectively, you have (I assume) been trained in nonlethal methods of hand-to-hand combat intended to subdue potentially violent suspects. This training is crucial to the proper fulfillment of your duty.

Were you absent the day they covered staplers and other office equipment in class? What about fresh fruit?  Remember, drop the 15-ton weight first, effectively disarming the suspect, then eat the banana.

Don’t be stupid and bring one of these to a Taser fight.

Why would it seem even remotely acceptable to the RCMP that their officers are taking their direction in the execution of their duty from John Cleese? C’mon, man – it was a frickin’ STAPLER.  You maybe get bopped on the head, or, worst case scenario, you have to go and get a few tetanus shots if he happens to get in a lucky strike. There is nothing in that particular scenario that justifies electrocuting the poor bastard five times, or to even justify ‘fearing for your fellow officers’.  Unless the guy is an Office Supplies Ninja, the fear you apparently felt, and your reaction, were completely out of proportion to the actual threat.

I have the greatest respect for police officers in general – I knew a few growing up, and they were never anything other than helpful, friendly, and without a doubt some of the bravest individuals I’ve had the pleasure to meet. In this case, however, the farce that led to the death of a terrified man is, if possible, becoming more absurd by the day.

Tasers should be issued with a picture of Robert Dziekanski affixed to the side, to provide a reminder that even if absolute power may corrupt absolutely, electrical power can create liars and cowards, definitely.