In case you need your right-wing silliness levels topped up, here’s a good one from Glenn Beck, CNN’s in-house blowhard: if you wear a Che Guevara t-shirt, you’re probably a terrorist. Yep, always good at turning anything into a screed, Beck has determined that because some of the army officials that pulled off the rescue wore them, they are de riguer in the terrorist set. Not only that, *only* terrorists wear them. See the logic?
Sure, there’s plenty of talk of one intelligence team member, nervous about the mission, who wore a Red Cross symbol against orders. But other accounts confirm the use of something you can probably pick up at any mall: a Che Guevara T-shirt.
That’s right, the same T-shirts you see Hollywood celebrities, starving pseudo-artists and confused hipster teens wearing around local coffee shops. To all those who decide that you want to be coffee house communist-chic, remember this: When you are wearing a Che T-shirt, you’re wearing the same shirt that makes terrorists believe you’re just one of the gang. I hope that latte is tasty.
See that - the people that don’t agree with him seem to all wear them, too - lefties all. Bastards. Commies. He even has to reference that old “latte-drinking” trope. Please, Glenn, what about us black coffee drinking socialists that figure there’s got to be a better way than the “who dies with the most wins” system we have now? Those that, like I think you do, know there is a difference between socialism and communism, and understand that denigrating modern socialists with the “Che” and “communist” brush, is simply an attempt to deny that there just might be a better way to go about business.
You seriously need to get better material - I mean, who writes this stuff? You?
Poor John McCain - as if being behind in the polls wasn’t bad enough, he’s got his top economic advisor calling Americans a bunch of whiners and he’s got his potential vice-presidential candidates giving him this kind of support:
Of course, McCain’s quite capable of making his own gaffes - apparently Mr “Foreign Policy Experience” seems to be a tad out of date when it comes to remembering world events - I’d tell him to look up the Velvet Divorce, but then again, he doesn’t know how to use the internet.
Is this a hoax? It sounds like satire, but it reads as serious:
the bracelet would be worn by all airline passengers (video also shown below).
This bracelet would:
• Take the place of an airline boarding pass
• Contain personal information about the traveler
• Be able to monitor the whereabouts of each passenger and his/her luggage
• Shock the wearer on command, completely immobilizing him/her for several minutes
The Electronic ID Bracelet, as it’s referred to, would be worn by every traveler “until they disembark the flight at their destination.” Yes, you read that correctly. Every airline passenger would be tracked by a government-funded GPS, containing personal, private and confidential information, and would shock the customer worse than an electronic dog collar if the passenger got out of line.
Just awesome. You can’t make this kind of stuff up.
In the most recent of a series of WTF? moments, John McCain has released his long-awaited (snicker) economic plans. He will balance the budget by the end of his first term (at which time he will be 132 years of age) by, dig this, maintaining the gazillion-dollar tax cut to the rich and ending the war in Iraq.
This is on par with his great environmental plan to redefine the global warming issue as an energy dependency one, and then offer up the oil potential off the northern Alaskan slope as a solution.
His economic plan (stretching the term plan to the breaking point) might, might, be remotely sane if the US government budget was balanced before the war began, but it was not. The US government was already well into debt before the bombs dropped in 2003.
How is it possible that any Republican will be able to cast a vote for this useless tool, if not simply out of pure, dull-witted party loyalty?
If Barack Obama wins the US presidency, Stephen Baldwin has threatened to leave the country. Naturally, we can’t allow this, as he might end up here in peaceful and talented Canada, diluting our stores of both with his bloviating on and off screen.
Consider this a call to arms - volunteer, mobilize fund-raising, pretend he’s an economic genius in your blogs, don’t point out the disconnect between his “green” campaign and expanding oil exploration in the Arctic, continue to pretend that he’s a “maverick” polititician who will fight against the influence of lobbyists by hiring them all and thereby getting them together in one place for the final takedown (I’ve said too much), and support his call for a national nap period between dinner and Wheel of Fortune. Let’s get John McCain into office this November!
This is the cause of our generation - for God’s sake people, Stephen Baldwin must have his way and stay ensconced in his Beverly Hills Baldwinarium! The US dollar is worth shit now, so if he is driven out into the real world, he will be forced to work for a living, and you all know what that means - more Stephen Baldwin movies!
But is there a better band in Canada right now than The Weakerthans?
If you’re in the Halifax area the middle of this month, go to Summer Sonic and find out. I’ve got my tickets for the weekend (hee hee), babysitting lined up (hee hee hee) and Reunion Tour spinning on my computer right now.
Oh, wait, something political - I see a priest from BC has turned in his Order of Canada in protest of Henry Morgenthaler’s award. Good on you - you wouldn’t want to own anything tainted by that baby-killing bastard. Oh, and Father, should I also need to tell you that Dr. Henry also got awarded for his work with a salary, that is money. For consistency you really should give back all of the money you have earned too.
Evidently Silly Season is upon us, news-wise, at least if we’re to judge from the fact that ABC News actually cares to find out what astrologers have to say about the upcoming presidential election:
In May, seven astrologers at the United Astrology Conference in Denver predicted that Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill. would win the White House in November, citing Saturn’s opposition to Uranus on Election Day as a celestial occurrence that pits a stodgy planet against one of rebellion, resulting in transformation and social upheaval.
With polls indicating that Americans are onto the Republicans and are losing the visceral fear of terrorism that kept them in line for the last seven years, John McCain faces an uphill battle to get his wrinkly ass into the Whitehouse. Still, with 35% of Americans believing a terrorist attack is likely in the coming weeks, there is still some material there to work with for McCain, who has chosen inexplicably to use the Bush playbook pretty much word-for-word. I guess the photographed hug from a few years ago concealed a little wood - who knew?
I’m not sure if the Whitehouse is going to be able to rev up the colour-coded threat index again, that would be just too obvious, but I think we can safely expect some new foreign threat to make an appearance in the coming months. The best that I can hope for is another anthrax scare to boost my Duct-tape stocks, but I fear that the newest manufactured threat might well involve Iran.
I’d like to be wrong about this. I’d like to be wrong partly because the North American economy does not need another unpaid-for war on its books, partly because the Harpocrat is more liable to haul our asses into an American foray than I’d like, and partly because I am going to try to unload my minivan in the coming weeks to buy something smaller and expect to have a tough enough time with gas at *only* $1.50 a litre.
